My dog mail is usually flooded with messages from my furry friends. Yesterday while I was checking my inbox, amidst the milieu of emails with subjects like “Crash course on how to threaten a cat”, “What annoys a cat the most” etcetera, there was a mail from Gucci (the one who keeps Runa as his roomy) It read about why dogs are better than Women.
Patience, my male chauvinist friends; since dogs don’t have a biased gene, the second part of the mail obviously explores the issue as to how dogs are better than Men. (Thanks for the cheers ladies) 😉
Why dogs are better
PART 1: HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN
- Dogs don’t cry.
- Dogs love it when your friends come over.
- Dogs don’t care if you use their shampoo.
- Dogs think you sing great.
- A dog’s time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
- Dogs don’t expect you to call when you are running late.
- The late you are, more excited dogs are to see you.
- Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
- Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
- Dogs are excited by rough play.
- Dogs understand that farts are funny.
- If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t hate it.
- Dogs don’t shop.
- Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
- A dog’s disposition stays the same all month long.
- Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
- A dog’s parents never visit.
- Dogs love long car trips.
- Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
- Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.
- Dogs don’t hate their bodies.
- Dogs never criticize.
- Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
Hang on dear ladies, now comes your favorite part 😉
PART 2: HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN
- Dogs don’t come in drunk and expect loving.
- Dogs don’t notice when you’ve had a bad hair day.
- Dogs understand when you cry.
- Dogs don’t ogle the girls at the beach.
- Dogs like to cuddle as long as you do.
- Dogs don’t bring old army buddies home on the spur of the moment.
- Dogs never promise “not to do it again”–whatever IT is.
- Dogs love you more than they love anybody else.
- Dogs like YOUR friends too.
- Dogs never act ashamed to be seen with you in public.
- Dogs don’t spend Sunday afternoon’s watching football/cricket–unless you do.
- Dogs never get bored with you and look for someone younger and more exciting.
- Dogs don’t bury themselves in a newspaper at breakfast.
- Dogs don’t criticize the way you keep the house.
- Dogs love you unconditionally.
- Dogs never correct your grammar.
- Dogs don’t care how long you talk on the telephone.
- You never have to wonder if your dog really loves you.
- Dogs don’t demand to control the TV remote.
- Dogs never make negative comments at your figure.
- Dogs never bitch about your cooking.
- Dogs never have to take clients to topless bars.
- Dogs never demand sex because it’s “your duty.”
- You’re always Number One with your dog. (Unlike Tiger Woods and a host of other men)
Now, with the power vested in me by the Canine central, I hereby read my dictum, from Part 1 and 2 we have come to the conclusion that
Dogs > women… (A)
& dogs are better than men… (B)
From equations A and B, we have
Dogs> men + women
Dogs > human beings
Who said dogs don’t know mathematics?
PS Read it somewhere, Men are like dogs. They keep coming back… Women are like cats. Yell at a cat once, they’re gone.