My dog mail is usually flooded with messages from my furry friends. Yesterday while I was checking my inbox, amidst the milieu of emails with subjects like “Crash course on how to threaten a cat”, “What annoys a cat the most” etcetera, there was a mail from Gucci (the one who keeps Runa as his roomy) It read about why dogs are better than Women.
Patience, my male chauvinist friends; since dogs don’t have a biased gene, the second part of the mail obviously explores the issue as to how dogs are better than Men. (Thanks for the cheers ladies) 😉
Why dogs are better
PART 1: HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN
Dogs don’t cry.
Dogs love it when your friends come over.
Dogs don’t care if you use their shampoo.
Dogs think you sing great.
A dog’s time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
Dogs don’t expect you to call when you are running late.
The late you are, more excited dogs are to see you.
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
Dogs are excited by rough play.
Dogs understand that farts are funny.
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t hate it.
Dogs don’t shop.
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
A dog’s disposition stays the same all month long.
Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
A dog’s parents never visit.
Dogs love long car trips.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.
Dogs don’t hate their bodies.
Dogs never criticize.
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
Hang on dear ladies, now comes your favorite part 😉
PART 2: HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN
Dogs don’t come in drunk and expect loving.
Dogs don’t notice when you’ve had a bad hair day.
Dogs understand when you cry.
Dogs don’t ogle the girls at the beach.
Dogs like to cuddle as long as you do.
Dogs don’t bring old army buddies home on the spur of the moment.
Dogs never promise “not to do it again”–whatever IT is.
Dogs love you more than they love anybody else.
Dogs like YOUR friends too.
Dogs never act ashamed to be seen with you in public.
Dogs don’t spend Sunday afternoon’s watching football/cricket–unless you do.
Dogs never get bored with you and look for someone younger and more exciting.
Dogs don’t bury themselves in a newspaper at breakfast.
Dogs don’t criticize the way you keep the house.
Dogs love you unconditionally.
Dogs never correct your grammar.
Dogs don’t care how long you talk on the telephone.
You never have to wonder if your dog really loves you.
Dogs don’t demand to control the TV remote.
Dogs never make negative comments at your figure.
Dogs never bitch about your cooking.
Dogs never have to take clients to topless bars.
Dogs never demand sex because it’s “your duty.”
You’re always Number One with your dog. (Unlike Tiger Woods and a host of other men)
Now, with the power vested in me by the Canine central, I hereby read my dictum, from Part 1 and 2 we have come to the conclusion that
Dogs > women… (A)
& dogs are better than men… (B)
From equations A and B, we have
Dogs> men + women
Dogs > human beings
Who said dogs don’t know mathematics?
PS Read it somewhere, Men are like dogs. They keep coming back… Women are like cats. Yell at a cat once, they’re gone.