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Musings on Mating: A scholarly article from Dr Chunnu Murthy BTech/MBA/PhD (Harvard)

The dog with a doctorate, engineering degree and an MBA!
The dog with a doctorate, engineering degree and an MBA!

Searching for a mate is a complex activity for most dogs. As a resident canine advisor on marital problems, I see a vast spectrum of issues, many of which could have been avoided if the dogs in question had just taken the trouble to apply their minds before proceeding.

I am not one, I should make clear upfront, who believes in ‘breedism’. Merely perpetuating a certain look or attribute – furry, height, physiognomy-fixation, strength, instinctive behaviour etc. – is foolish. Every generation should look for a safe and healthy future of the next litter.  

Issues such as financial security, emotional well-being, an assured supply of appropriate food, free health care are germane to deciding the next step. Irresponsible littering (ha ha ha ha ha ha!) must be condemned.

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A boy and his dogs – featuring Sarang and friends. ~Image courtesy Vasudev Murthy.

We have an advantage over homosapiens – we are colour blind. First battle over!

Also see: Looking to adopt? and Why #desidogs are best for an Indian home

However, the way some of the younger male dogs while away their time and take on poor attitudes (“any female will do, wink, wink”) points to a deterioration in our value system. I call upon my fellow pooches to be responsible. Interview the potential mate. Inquire about their family history – diseases, attitude, evidence of criminal behaviour etc.

Find out if they have life goals and what they are doing about it – a mere hysterical expression of ‘anything goes, I’m happy-go-lucky’ is a warning. What is their attitude towards past mates and progeny, if any? How do they behave in social settings where there are either many other dogs or humans or a combination? Do they share food?

These simple tests go a long way in determining whether or not you will have a long and happy married life – for at least six months.

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