Bouquets & brouhaha…the dog wins!

bouquets & brouhaha

Roll on the red carpets, give way to the metallic grey Limousine, hold your cameras and bask in the glory of the audacious canine, for as they say every dog has his day 🙂 Guess, I should march on further north now and turn an ascetic. My sincere gratitude to Aisoorya for honoring the dog blog with the coveted award!  Oscar,Booker are passé…;)

Here’s my sin list…

1. Asked someone to marry you? Guilty. Well, dogs are known for their witty demeanour as well 🙂

2. Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Innocent. I get all mushy even imagining such a scenario…if you meant a peck on the cheek to a kid, I’d plead guilty.

3. Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent. The teetotaller of a canine that I am.

4. Ever told a lie? Guilty, on multiple counts.

5. Kissed a picture? Innocent.

6. Slept in until 5 PM? Innocent. I ain’t Garfield. Dogs have virtues 🙂

7. Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty. At times the lectures aren’t what I expect them to be so I opt for a slumber rather than listening to fiscal defecits but then I ain’t saying that I am game for redemption.

8. Held a snake? Innocent.

9. Been suspended from school? Guilty. Contrary to popular beliefs, the young Turk was suspended alongwith a band of bravehearts for..hold your breath, making too much noise..back in standard three 🙂

10. Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent.

11. Stolen from a store? Innocent.

12. Been fired from a job? Innocent. Do I look like someone who would let the manager breathe after being handed a pink slip 🙂

13. Done something you regret? Guilty. Isn’t it amazing how unanswered questions play with the mind 🙂

14. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty. I live for such moments, what’s a life deprived of delights like these!

15. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Guilty. The hills have been my harbinger, happiness and home!

16. Kissed in the rain? Innocent.

17. Sat on a roof top? Guilty. A room on the roof has always been my picture of solitary delight. Tree tops and perchs also feature as my favorite nature hideouts.

18. Kissed someone you shouldn’t? Innocent. Dogs have instincts, you see!

19. Sang in the shower? Guilty. Well, you don’t want to know how many charges can be filed against me while I am at the shower:)

20. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Guilty.

21. Shaved your head? Innocent.

22. Had a boxing membership? Innocent. My paws are more fit for tearing apart & I don’t need any membership/license for that 😉

23. Made a girlfriend cry? Guilty. Why isn’t there a question on whether your girlfriend made you cry? 🙂

24. Been in a band? Innocent.

25. Shot a gun? Guilty. Tried a gun at NCC camp, missed the bull’s eye by miles:) My paws are my trusted weapon of choice:)

26. Donated Blood? Guilty.

27. Eaten alligator meat? Innocent. Dogs do have a tongue for taste!

28. Eaten cheesecake? Guilty.

29. Still love someone you shouldn’t? Innocent. Caring ain’t the same as loving 🙂

30. Have/had a tattoo? Innocent. The larger than life persona that I have, no emblem,word,zen symbol can speak in the entirety for me.

31. Liked someone, but will never tell who? Guilty. The heart has its own reasons that reasons have no reason of.

32. Been too honest? Innocent. The keyword here’s ‘been’, I am not being one right now 🙂

33. Ruined a surprise? Innocent.

34. Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterward? Innocent.

35. Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty. Yeah! Pumps up the adrenaline! The second step ofcourse, should be to delete their lifeline:)

36. Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? twice Guilty. I ain’t ashamed for I did a great job at both the occasions 😉 I traded my shirt for a skirt, before you label me as a transvestite, it was for theater and the other time for a skit.

37. Joined a pageant? Innocent.

38. Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty. Ah! I do have a femme fan following and some of them occasionally stick to truth:)

39. Had communication with your ex? Innocent. I wonder if I even have a X, or an A for that matter 🙂

40. Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent.

41. Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty. I faintly remember shedding a tear or two when agitated, perhaps in my kindergarden days but now with a lifetime of experience, I’d rather make the culprit unbarrel a gallon of tears:)

Now comes my favorite part, I hereby reveal my partners in crime, who are tagged here forth…in case they don’t respond..well, they know I have always believed that actions rate higher on decibel scale than words:)

Pranshu bhaiya

Rain Girl

Sona

Farah

Runa ji

Vikram

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Why the dog writes?

Kaalicharan

Bow-wow!

This is Kaalicharan. Kaalicharan the dog…perhaps the first dog with the blog. The longueur in blog world badly required a hint of chutzpah and who else to provide it but the greatest of all, your’s truly Kaalicharan

I’ve got so much to write and this damn keyboard…hell,all humans think about is themselves…I guess,I’ll have to order a custom made keyboard to suit my paws.I know, you bloggers are not used to this kind of thing…I can wonder what your medulla and cerebrum would be going through as they’re being subjected to analyse the pawed lexicon of our kind hence I’ll try to express myself in English and with whatever I’ve learned of your weird language, I can very well make out that my vehement dislike for a few specimen of your species wouldn’t be turned down. The cult of Canis familiaris and International United Association of Canines(IUAC) have bestowed their benevolent act through financial funding for this blog…forgot to mention(you see I’m an epitome of humility),the great pains taken by me while working on Harry’s computer!

So why the dog writes? Isn’t the Dogitarian(read: Humanitarian) upliftment reason enough? I’m here to voice the perplexed state of the canine world, the paranoia of the pawed family and all that bothers my species. I wonder what went wrong? Why incidents like Bangalore carnage? Ruminating over the dog cause and state wasn’t enough so I had to put it all up in the writing with the solo aim of resurrecting the age old bond between men and dogs. Our Science & Technology ministry has sanctioned a whooping sum of Do(g)llar 9.5 billion for the setting up of three world class DOG Institute of Technology(DIT) and we already have alarmed the likes of MIT! However, since our satellite DOGSAT-2E is having some problems with the transponders hence I’m using the blogging platform to voice my opinions[If anyone reads it:)]

Kaalicharan is here to raise concerns over animal plight. OK you have heard that enough, isn’t it? But look within yourselves and without putting to practice Newtonian logic,you’d come to the realization that you have done nothing yet  Do you still frown on the site of a stray dog? Are you a silent spectator when someone stones a lame canine? Would you put a pup out of the middle of the road to safety? Does a part of you goes sallow when you get to know the pains muted species are subjected to…? I hope you are understanding the gravity of the situation. Stand up for dog rights… in fact stand up for all our animal species. I’ve heard enough about man’s superiority in the mother nature’s plan. To quote Peter Parker’s uncle, ”With great power comes greater responsibility”.You fellas think you really are the man…now it’s time that you play one!

It’s like you come onto this planet with a crayon box. Now you may get the 8 pack, you may get the 16 pack but it’s all in what you do with the crayons – the colours – that you’re given. Don’t worry about colouring within the lines or colouring outside the lines – I say colour outside the lines, you know what I mean? Colour all over the page; don’t box me in! We’re in motion to the ocean. We are not land locked, I’ll tell you that.~ Waking Life, the movie

Auf wiedersehen!(somehow I have always loved the sound of this farewell word…it’s somewhat easy to pronounce in Dog Tongue!)

 

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